I think to improve this piece I could:
- Include a wider variety of cleaning and organisational skills
- Cut the editing so that towards 'the cut' that the editing becomes more fast paced and quicker cuts to build tension - showing a build up of the character's life and the pressure of cleaning
- Colouring - make it darker
- actually build a string to control the puppet OR animate in string
- foley sound
- include a voiceover or the poem that originally inspired the short film
- More theatrics? vignette?
I explained that my idea for the framing was based around that I wanted there to be a 4th wall, similar to how puppet shows are constructed, to take this further I could create an actual puppet show and build a set.
What worked well:
- Music - mechanical/ robotic like - presents character as robotic housewife almost
- Concept - was a clear idea
- performance
- 4th wall - set up of cinematography and mise en scene
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