This is the first draft of our script. We had difficulty with the microphone we used, as we couldn't link up the audio to the camera, so when we started post production the clips of the audio and visual had to be exported from the devices separately. We also had an issue with road works and traffic, which set us behind in our filming schedule, including normal things such a batteries dying and the sound recorder needing to be charged continuously.
From what we could see from this draft we knew that we needed to improve:
- 3 seconds of black screen - put sound in
- pick up a new shot of the paperwork - because we can't see 'army' or school logo
- replace the cut of putting it in the bin - is slow and out of focus - can't read
- Dawn - calling out is off - maybe show Dawn accompanied with Lila's voice
- laptop is already closed in 1st clip of Dawn
- Dad's old dog tags - audio is off towards end
- picture of dad is too long - maybe audio of Dawn begins
- Lila sitting down
- 'what i don't care' - audio is off sync
- Dawn getting up from bed is too long
- last shot - cut to them hugging + fade to black
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